1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Satellite Navigation aids really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection ... again ...
12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
13. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
14. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
[ 23. December 2010, 05:35: Message edited by: P a u l ]
Posted by Valley (Member # 1322) on :
Great stuff Paul!
Posted by Crash (Member # 7484) on :
These are really great and all true.
#1. You also need a best friend to remove the "bad" DVD collection when you die so that folks don't have bad memories of your having stuff like "Emmanuel in America," "Maniac," "Bloodsucking Freaks" or any of the "Ilsa" films in your possession during your lifetime.
#3. Zzzzzzzz...
#10. This usually occurs for me sometime between finishing the third cup of coffee and 10:30 a.m.
#11. I completely agree, as I push around my four different formats/versions of "Dawn of the Dead."
#15. That and Jack Daniels... :-)
#16. Yes, there has to be a route algorithm to avoid any part of town that has a bus station, pawn shop, check-cashing joint, body-piercing parlor, or liquor store that stocks Thunderbird.
#17. Let's see, play Angry Birds on computer or eat something from Mighty Taco. I'll compromise and do both.
#22. Actually, the helmet was de-volution. You don't need a brain to use what the testicular guard protects.
Posted by aTomiK (Member # 6575) on :
Awesome stuff Paul!
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
When you live with a 1,2 year old you have to fight with the thought " if i watch a movie i´m only going to get 5 hours of sleep tonight"
18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
Two times and sometimes i still don´t get it
20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
I´ve caught myself doing this.
Posted by Helen_S (Member # 5804) on :
I'm glad others do no. 20 too Posted by logan5 (Member # 1467) on :
quote:1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
YESSSSSSSSSS!
quote:2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I wouldn't know *sniff*.
quote:3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
YES!
quote:6. Satellite Navigation aids really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I need 1-4.
quote:8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Soooooo sad but soooooo true.
quote:10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I know when it will strike: the first minute of every working day.
quote:11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection ... again ...
Agreed.
quote:18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
Once for me.
quote:20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
I do that all the time! And leave the room to get something and not remember until I get back that I went to get something!
quote:22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
I believe that's because the sticks and the puck operate below waist level... and I'm fairly sure the helmet existed for centuries before then. What were Knights and Roman Centurions wearing on their heads?
quote:Originally posted by Helen_S: I'm glad others do no. 20 too
I first read that as "I'm glad others do no. 2 too"! I thought that was stating the obvious!
Posted by Pyromantic (Member # 7658) on :
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