I am sooo stressed out with this whole Christmas business.
I am the parent of one child. This should be easy. Shop for the ONE person , right?
But of course a bunch of ******** have to ruin it for everyone.
For instance, my sister had agreed to go "halfsies" on a present for my father with me. So I order the present- thinking shes paying half, and then she backs out on th deal. Now IM paying for the whole thing, which means Im spending TWICE what I expected to spend on him.
THEN -in the same day! - my mother calls me, KNOWING I already ordered her gift and TELLS ME WHAT SHE WANTS!!!!! Can you imagine the NERVE?!
I am tired of everyone telling me I "dont understand the spirit of Christmas" blah blah blah and then heaping **** on me! At a time where Im supposed to be light-hearted and merry! It just seems like when I think Im doing okay they throw another hit my way!
Next year I am staying home. Make your festivus jokes. Im totally serious. If this is Christmas I dont want it.
Posted by JAY LEE (Member # 6345) on :
Man, im glad I ditched the whole xmas thing back in the 90's...! No stress, no present shopping, no forced family socializing! Can't believe you people still bother..... Posted by mamamiasweetpeaches (Member # 1715) on :
How do you avoid it? Do you have kids??? Cuz I swear the only thing keeping this rusty wheel of mine spinning is not only do I have a duaghter- but shes the youngest in the whole family. So its like "Lets Do It For HER!"
Next year Im handing her the hundreds of bucks I would have spent on everyones presents and just getting Chinese food sent to my house!
Posted by JAY LEE (Member # 6345) on :
No kids.... pheeeew... I guess if you have kids, you kinda gotta do it for them!
Back in '95, I just became fed up with what I refer to as forced family socializing! I don't like it, Im not having a good time, I don't give a **** about half of those people, They always talk about the same old boring things every freaking time, I hate phoney smalltalk, I just had enough. We have ONE life.... I sure as **** ain't gonna spend it doing things I hate, with people I have nothing in common with!
Plus, im agnostic, so from a theological perspective, it doesn't make a whole lotta sense that I celebrate Jesus' birthday... Posted by mamamiasweetpeaches (Member # 1715) on :
well, its funny...cuz although I was raised Catholic Im pretty much a non-practicing Catholic, in that I dont believe in organized religion and wont PAY "dues" at a church.
My HUSBAND isnt Catholic at all.
So - really - I could just choose NOT to raise the kid Catholic and have an "out"! Hahaha.
It does strike me funny that as "non-practicers" we celebrate Christmas and Easter. WHY? Its not even like we go to church or anything!
This really might be the end for me. I really rather stay home
[ 17. December 2009, 05:15: Message edited by: mamamiasweetpeaches ]
Posted by logan5 (Member # 1467) on :
Both Christmas and Easter are Pagan-rooted ceremonies that Christianity incorporated into its own mythology. Call it 'Winter Solstice' if it makes you feel better.
What excuse did your sister give for backing out?
What did you say to your mother when she told you what she wanted? (Knowing you'd already bought something)
I hate the forced socialisation of Christmas. But then I hate the forced socialisation of all the other things that happen throughout the year, too.
I do, however, like tinsel and wrapping paper, and I think that kids getting excited about presents is something the child in us can relate to.
'New Years' on the other hand, has no religious connotations, but I find it very very depressing indeed.
[Aren't we heading for 'Festivus'? Who's going to be doing the annual 'airing of grievances'?]
Posted by Sir Sammy Hain Esq. (Member # 3150) on :
From somebody who has worked retail for many years I have to agree that Christmas sucks. I can't believe how much people stress out over what boils down to 'stuff' If you have a friend or relative that is going to have a problem that you didn't get them the right thing for their Christmas present then there's already preexisting issues that go well beyond their gift.
logan5 I'm pretty much an agnostic too.
Posted by P a u l (Member # 1022) on :
Well I have to say, in contrast with the above, that I'm not stressed over Christmas at all. I'm really looking forward to spending some time out of work, with friends and family.
And I AM religious, so the holiday for me isn't purely based on the commercialism, excess and secularization of what is a spiritual festival, however far back you decide it's appropriate to go.
Maybe (he said, not wanting to start any arguments) that's the point? If you take away everything above the purely commercial and secular level, what's left is just hard work with little or no benefit or meaning beyond an expensive time of eating and drinking too much, in the forced company of relatives you'd not normally choose to spend the time with. Oh, and you get socks.....
Posted by Mike. (Member # 7179) on :
Well for the first time i'm not stressed over Christmas.I thought i would be prepared this year so ordered all my gifts online and received them all this week,so just got to wrap them up then thats me done.
Posted by Pittsburghgirl (Member # 7514) on :
I love Christmas, and even though it's just basically me and the hubby, it is still nice. I love putting up the tree and decorations. But we always keep in mind that it is Jesus' birthday, not a day to collect as much **** as we possibly can. I used to absolutely loathe New Year's Eve. Every year starting from age 19 or 20 on, until I met my husband at around 25 or 26, I never had a date. So I was always the third wheel that everyone felt sorry for. I didn't even really want to go out, but my friends with their boyfriends would insist on me joining them. I felt like a total loser. My hubby and I used to go out, but now we just stay in and have friends over, or go to another friend's house who lives close by. So much more fun that way- no crowds and blaring music in my ear so I can't hear a damn thing. We get to eat, drink and be merry without fighting crowds or if there is a single person there, they don't have to feel left out.
Posted by EJ Loves Takashi (Member # 7767) on :
I love Christmas too. Yes I hate getting together with a lot of my family, but have recently stopped that, and I hate the mass amounts of people out shopping! I am that crazy person who buys gifts in July! I am usually done way in advance, so I dont have much of the stress a lot of people around me have.
I love giving to people. Especially when you find something they love. I love to give gag gifts too, just for laughs!
My family had such memorable Christmas', I love this time of year. Every year something phenomenal happens. And by phenomenal I am talking dad shocking himself with broken lights, Danny pouring hot fondu oil all over mom's new hardwood floors, my sister taking a major faceplant in the driveway in the back of the frame when the local news was interviewing my dad for his clark griswold like light display, me spending 3 hours in the emergency room for pulling the christmas tree down on me (great story if anyone wants a good laugh let me know!) Grandma sliding across the hot oil on moms new floors, Chad doing impersonations of Austin Powers till we all almost die laughing....the list goes on. But the number one memory of Christmas for us...christmas day hockey. Even mom plays.
I hope with staying home this year, I can make it as memorable for my daughter as it always has been for me.
Love Christmas!
Posted by 80'sRocked (Member # 6979) on :
quote:Originally posted by Pittsburghgirl: I used to absolutely loathe New Year's Eve.
I know the feeling Pittsburghgirl. All the holidays suck when you are single, especially Christmas and New Year's. You don't feel like going out and pretending to be happy. Luckily for me this year, I am not and look forward to them both. It really is a good feeling to be with someone who loves and appreciates you.... Posted by mamamiasweetpeaches (Member # 1715) on :
I used to be the guy (girl?) who ordered the gifts in October. There was much less stress then! But my husband holds my credit card now, so no dice.
The thing is - we cut a lot of people OUT. Like we decided not to do nieces and nephews and just everyone shop for their OWN kid. But then - we shop for our parents!How does that make SENSE?! If anything we should have cut the grandparents out and still shopped for the kids (most of whom are teenagers-but still...)
Its NOT about the love and family gathering if some ******* (and I hate to call my mother that, I really do!) is telling you "I dont want THAT, I want this!" (whose the parent and whose the kid in this relationship?!)
The story with my sister is we waited until the week before Christmas to order The Old Mans gift. Because we waited so long we couldnt get him what we originally talked about. Having next to no time I panicked and ordered him something similar and she said "I never agreed on THAT!" and I - being the good one - said "You want out?" and she said "yes". I wonder what SHE'LL end up giving him.
When my mother said "You know what I want..." I said "I already shopped for you" and she STILL proceeded to tell me what she wants! My mother lives alone in a four bedroom house in a gated community! Why is she telling ME what she wants??? I havent worked in over ten years!!!!(And you KNOW she picked something expensive figuring we kids could pitch it towards it).
I really think next year I am donating money to an animal shelter and a childrens hospital in everybody behalf! THAT to me makes more sense! GIVE to those who NEED it, not just greedy mo-fos who pcik ludicrous expenive **** for themselves!
Posted by logan5 (Member # 1467) on :
quote:I never had a date. So I was always the third wheel that everyone felt sorry for. I didn't even really want to go out, but my friends with their boyfriends would insist on me joining them. I felt like a total loser.
That's the main reason I hate New Years. I also hate Valentines for the same reason. But I made an inner deal that no matter what my status I would never celebrate those dates in a 'couples' way, and I've stuck to it! That hasn't always been a popular decision I might add
quote:if there is a single person there, they don't have to feel left out.
If they are single and they're surrounded by couples, it doesn't really matter in what context - they're gonna feel left out.
quote:The story with my sister is we waited until the week before Christmas to order The Old Mans gift. Because we waited so long we couldnt get him what we originally talked about. Having next to no time I panicked and ordered him something similar and she said "I never agreed on THAT!" and I - being the good one - said "You want out?" and she said "yes". I wonder what SHE'LL end up giving him.
You broke the treaty! All bets were off! Her troops were right to cross the border!
quote:When my mother said "You know what I want..." I said "I already shopped for you" and she STILL proceeded to tell me what she wants! My mother lives alone in a four bedroom house in a gated community! Why is she telling ME what she wants???
Everyone should just have a frigging Amazon list and people should just shop from that. Saves all the heartache!
quote:I havent worked in over ten years!!!!
Teacher... show me the way.
quote:I really think next year I am donating money to an animal shelter and a childrens hospital in everybody behalf! THAT to me makes more sense! GIVE to those who NEED it, not just greedy mo-fos who pcik ludicrous expenive **** for themselves!
Not a bad idea. You could always pull a Costanza and make up a charity... the 'Mammamia Fund' perhaps? Posted by mamamiasweetpeaches (Member # 1715) on :
we were talking about that yesterday - but, no ,really. I wouldnt pull a Costanza. I REALLY would send it to the ASPCA or something. Its NOT a bad idea. How can anybody complain about you making a donation in their name without coming off sounding like a total tool?!
Posted by kevdugp73 (Member # 5978) on :
I love Christmas and look forward to it every year. I have a three year old so that makes it all the more fun. Me and my wife basically split the time up between our parents' houses (they both live close by)...time with family, good food and a few drinks.
We've sponsored a family every year for the past five years. Began with helping a family friend who lost her son in a snowmobile accident and was really dreading the first Christmas without him..this was a really positive focus that kept her busy. Our families rallied together and sponsored a family with seven kids...we had several gifts for each and every kid, plus gifts for the mom and dad as well...one of my favorite Christmases (it was all anonymous as well...I delived the gifts and groceries dressed as Santa.
We still get a bit stressed and overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle...but do our best to enjoy Christmas each year.
Posted by kevdugp73 (Member # 5978) on :
I'm with the New Years' haters. For me, everyone always had really high expectations for the evening, but it always felt like any ol wekend having a few drinks with friends.
I've been with my wife for 12 years now, and we rarely argue or fight...but for some strange reason, there was three New Years' Eves in a row that we got in a big argument...one year, directly at Midnight, we were driving home in a cab, sitting in the back seat...as far apart away as we could get . Me laugh about it now...but it wasn't funny at the time . Our preference now is to have a low key night, order Chinese food with a few friends, and watch movies.
Posted by mamamiasweetpeaches (Member # 1715) on :
Well, there are two holidays I really dislike. And a lot of it has to do with them being heavy "Drunk Driver Nights":
New Years Eve is the #1 one. My husband always gets antsy and wants to go out. Even if he agrees to stay home he will get antsy come 10 or 11 PM and start running out the door which of course leads to a fight. The "funny" thing here is we are the type who get wasted with friends on a pretty regular basis! So its not like hes a guy who never gets to get his drink on! Like my father said when I was a teen, and he was right: "Amateur Night".
I prefer to stock up on beer, booze, wine, soda and food and have people come to my house. Its almost like a "Friends To The Friendles" thing. Really - anyone we know who is alone and has no plans can drop in , no questions asked. My brother in law is divorced from my sister and he stopped by last New Years Eve , we had just gotten the WII for Christmas , so he, my husband my daughter and I stayed up late playing the WII! And I can honestly say THAT was the BEST New Years Eve I have ever had! (Notice it wasnt a "Planned Party", which puts on too much pressure. Beer, chicken wings, a good friend and a WII. I had a ball!)
Another Holiday I hate (and its a sin cuz Im Irish) is Saint Patricks Day. Again - my husband (who isnt even Irish!) acts like he's never tasted beer in his life, and has an absolute fit that I wont go to a bar. To me THAT many drunk people in one room is a recipe for disaster, and then you have to worry about the ride home
Ive had a few good St Patricks Days, but really - only a sparse few. And one of the last good ones where I DID agree to 'go out" my friends husband hit on someone else's wife(!) someone got drunk and "stupid" and started losing their clothes (!) and someone in the mix picked a fight with someone else. I probably love this particular St Patricks Day because I was the only one who managed to get through the night with making an *** out of themselves! Hahaha.
Posted by logan5 (Member # 1467) on :
quote:How can anybody complain about you making a donation in their name without coming off sounding like a total tool?!
"Oh... that's the third donation gift in a row. We were kind of depending on those since we got laid off. I guess I'll have to tell the kids Santa won't be coming after all. But that's ok, I'll tell them that Santa gave their presents to kids in Africa. I'm sure they'll understand. Boy, sure is a cold winter this year. Don't ever remember it being this cold before. Come on kids, let's get in the back of the van where it's warm."
"Why can't we go home?"
"I told you; it's not our home anymore."
"Did Santa take our home for kids in Africa?"
"I guess so."
"I hate Santa."
"Don't hate Santa. Hate our cruel relatives for spending money on strangers."
It's gonna happen Mammamia!
Posted by logan5 (Member # 1467) on :
quote:My brother in law is divorced from my sister and he stopped by last New Years Eve , we had just gotten the WII for Christmas , so he, my husband my daughter and I stayed up late playing the WII! And I can honestly say THAT was the BEST New Years Eve I have ever had! (Notice it wasnt a "Planned Party", which puts on too much pressure. Beer, chicken wings, a good friend and a WII. I had a ball!)
See? Now that's what I'm talkin' about! The forced socialisation of New Years just makes it suck even more. Much nicer to hang out with friends doing fun stuff! I'm coming over to your place this New Years.
I've never been a big drinker, so when I go out on these 'holidays' I'm pretty much just watching people get wasted. In itself that can be amusing, but it tends to involve some kind of negative eruption at some point (Mamma, your description of St. Patrick's pretty much sums all holidays up for me).
Posted by mamamiasweetpeaches (Member # 1715) on :
LOGAN - you missed the part where I said we DONT do the kids anymore!
Explain that to me. I DONT shop for my nieces and nephews (at my sisters and in-laws hands, mind you) and still have to shop for my 70 year old Mom, my 70 year old Dad, my 30 and 40 -something friends and neighbors!!!! isnt Christmas ABOUT the kiddies?????? They should have been the LAST people to get the axe, butsince my sisters kids are teens they said "You dont have to shop for them anymore". Meanwhile my 11 year old in turn gets the shaft!
Posted by logan5 (Member # 1467) on :
quote:LOGAN - you missed the part where I said we DONT do the kids anymore!
"Sorry kids, the recession has caused us to cancel Christmas because we can't afford to buy you any presents."
"Maybe Auntie Mammamia will buy us something?"
"No, kids, she doesn't do that anymore."
"Did we do something wrong?"
"Yes... I'm afraid you did."
quote:Explain that to me. I DONT shop for my nieces and nephews (at my sisters and in-laws hands, mind you) and still have to shop for my 70 year old Mom, my 70 year old Dad, my 30 and 40 -something friends and neighbors!!!!
I can't explain it. Frankly, once I got past a certain age I haven't seen the point in Christmas or Birthdays or anything (I know I know - Birthdays are different). If people want something, they can save the money they spend on other people and spend it on themselves. That way, other people can save their money and spend it on themselves too.
quote:isnt Christmas ABOUT the kiddies??????
It sure is. I can't see any other reason for the whole 'buying' thing.
quote:They should have been the LAST people to get the axe, butsince my sisters kids are teens they said "You dont have to shop for them anymore". Meanwhile my 11 year old in turn gets the shaft!
Try using that as a defence: "Aren't we all getting a little old for this? You buy yourself what you want, and I'll by myself what I want. If we want to buy something for the kids then we can, but us adults can really take care of ourselves." Think it might work? Probably not.
I got pelted in the back of the head with a snowball when I was picking my way home down a really icy path. They weren't even kids. They were adults and they didn't do it in a "we're just kidding way", it was in a "screw you, stranger" way.
Christmas cheer? Bah! Humbug!
Posted by bandit (Member # 6296) on :
quote:Originally posted by JAY LEE: Man, im glad I ditched the whole xmas thing back in the 90's...! No stress, no present shopping, no forced family socializing! Can't believe you people still bother.....
I agree,can't wait to the 27th, getting on a plane up to my girl.No stress,just relax for a week.
Posted by pettyfan (Member # 2260) on :
I love Christmas. I'm not one of those people who gets stressed about it. I too think there's more to Christmas than just gift-giving. I am a Christian so I also remember that it is Jesus' birthday. I like the whole family aspect, too. Now New Year's Eve, not such a fan of. I'm not a big partier and I can never stay up till midnight so what's the point?
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. Me laugh about it now...but it wasn't funny at the time . Our preference now is to have a low key night, order Chinese food with a few friends, and watch movies.
