I got a call today..my 90 year old Aunt is dying...she has been my last connection (aside to my mom and aunt)...to my Grandma...I have known her since the day I was born...and she's been an inspirational person to me. She has got through cancer, diabetes...she's blind in one eye, has had multiple heart attacks, and open heart surgeries, by passes, lung infections, a poisoness spider bite, and multiple strokes...and she's lived on her own her whole life, and she's going to die in her own home. My Uncle called me today...and I am hoping she can hang in there awhile...I am going Thursday to see her...but it will be a major bummer.
I am not good about death and dying. My Uncle says her kidneys are shutting down, but she thinks she just needs a nap...and she'll be fine...she doesn't think she's dying. But he says it isn't going to be much longer.
We all thought she was immortal. I am really on a bummer about it...I can picture her at so many important things in my life...she was the one who was always there for everyone.
I think about how long 90 years is, and it really isn't long at all, when you look at the whole world. My son is studying astronomy right now, and learning about our planet and how it has evolved to where we are now, and how long it took to get to this point...it is amazing stuff...it is almost impossible to comprehend time going on for billions of years.
They say the sun has 5 billion years of life in it...can anyone even imagine the Earth in 5 million years? Or even 500 hundred years from now...what it will be like. It will boggle your mind if you read about the universe...and how it takes 109 Earth's to equal the width of the sun.
I think about life and death all the time...and what it all means...my mom and I always talk about it...but I wonder all the time...how do other people think...and do they thing about what the purpose of any of it even means. I think about how short life is...and how fast time goes by...amd how every season is one less season I'll ever have...and I always try and appreciate my life, and I always think about if I died tomorrow...I want to make sure I had a good life, and that I didn't regret anything...and that I didn't let fear of something stop me from doing the things I want to do.
One of the things about the Rewind that I like the most...is even though we are so spread out...I really like hearing what other people are doing in other countries...because I know most of those places, I will never get to see in my life time, and even people that have the money to travel...they can never go everywhere...so it is cool that there are so many different people on here from different parts of the world, and that even though we all grew up some place different...we still relate to alot of the same things.
Posted by Stitch Groover (Member # 2895) on :
Oh Isis, I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. And you're right - in terms of the universe, 90 years isn't a long time. But in the human perspective it is a long time and anyone who has made it that age has obviously lived through so much and learnt so much.
quote: I think about how short life is...and how fast time goes by...amd how every season is one less season I'll ever have...and I always try and appreciate my life
Rather than thinking of it as one less season you'll have, try thinking of it as one more season you got enjoy!
Posted by TKO (Member # 1471) on :
That is indeed sad news Isis. Letting go of someone is never easy, but at least she was lucky enough to hit 90. Not too many people are that fortunate.
I recently watched ‘The Fountain’.. a very bizarre and beautiful movie about a man who desperately seeks a cure to save his terminally ill wife. Not everyone will like it though. My guess is you won’t, because it leaves the viewer with too many questions. And… it’s a pretty strange, almost new age like flick. But it really makes one think about life and death and that one should live their life to the fullest.
It’s cool that your son is studying astronomy. Reading about stuff like that really makes you feel small and meaningless, doesn’t it? Like for instance, did you know that the light of the Andromeda nebula – the only nebula one can see with the bare eye - takes 2 billion years to reach earth? Considering the speed of light is 300.000 km/sec. In other words… when we look up to that nebula, we are actually looking at light that was sent out 2 billion years ago. Knowing that, can you even imagine the size of the entire universe?
Haha, I almost feel like Walter Gibson in The Sure Thing now: “consider outer space…”
I have to admit that I'm a real geek when it comes to stuff like that. Posted by bandit (Member # 6296) on :
I'm sorry to hear about your aunt Isis.Those things are never easy.I hope at least she is in no pain.I lost my father to cancer when i was 11,And my dear grandmother a few years later,i have some memories i really could do without
Cool to hear your son is into astronomy,my boy is also into that,he never had much choice really I have a couple of telescopes,and we have a lot of fun using them.At the moment this podcast is the best around.You can listen to or download every episode for free.I think he would like THIS Posted by Valley (Member # 1322) on :
Life is but a fleeting moment and it doesn't matter how old you are......life is never long enough. I'm sorry about the news regarding your aunt.
Appreciate the moment everyone, it won't last forever.
Posted by 80'sRocked (Member # 6979) on :
Life is too short to think about death....
Very sad new ISIS. My best wishes to you and your family.
Astronomy is awesome. The more you learn about the universe, the more it will blow your mind....
Posted by ISIS (Member # 1780) on :
Thanks you guys...I haven't had any bad phone calls yet today...so I am hoping that she is hanging in there...I want to see her at least one more time. I have thought about her all day today. 90 years is an awesome life time. I do realize that most people don't make it that far...the reason I think she over came so many things, is because she had this attitude about life...that you just learn to deal with whatever hand your dealt and you take it and deal with it, and move on. She was always so strong about death...and I know she has no fear of it. That's the best thing. I wish I could be that way.
TKO-I am studying along with my son on Astronomy too...and we are learning about nebulas...I never even knew what that meant before now.
It is crazy that the Earth is one of the only planets that has the right temperature to be able for life to be here. Most of the planets have temperatures that are hot enough to melt iron. Venus and Mercury have a surface temp. of about 900 degrees.
We know that Pluto exists....but no satellite has ever be close enough to it, the only way we know it's there is through telescopes.
All the information about what a star is...and what asteroids are, or what is the difference between a meteroid or meteroite ..it is crazy...the whole idea that we are suspended in space, on this big round ball...and we move in a what's called an "elipse"- and that's how you get morning and night.
It is amazing if you think about the whole process of life...and how we ever got here, and the things we do all day long to take up our time...that in itself is mind boggling...people don't even stop and think about their surroundings, and there's alot of people out there that don't value any form of life, including their own.
Posted by Kash (Member # 297) on :
sorry to hear that, hope she recovers interesting to note how sickness & death force us to focus on the heaccity of life.
Posted by jdocster (Member # 5752) on :
Isis,
Sorry to hear about your aunt. 90 years is a long time. She has lived a "full" life!
- Best wishes to you and your family
jdoc
Posted by deathbystereo80 (Member # 2005) on :
Oh Isis, I am so sorry to hear this. Losing somebody who has accompanied you all your life and who has been part of it is so hard. And I really hope with all my heart that you will be able to see her at least one more time.
She had a full and fullfilled life, also thanks to you and your family.
All the best for your family, Toni
Posted by kevdugp73 (Member # 5978) on :
Sorry for your news ISIS.....peace and prayers. Saying goodbye is never easy, but seemingly worse when its young children, Moms with young kids, etc. 90 years = a lot of great memories. Also, any picture I've ever seen of you, you're always smiling and seem thankful for your life....I'm sure your Aunt enjoys seeing this in you and she's likely to feel young and happy when you and other loved ones are around. Best wishes.
Posted by ISIS (Member # 1780) on :
I saw her today. I was with her and her family for about 3 hours...gosh she is inspiring- her grandson wrote a poem about her that made everyone cry, because it the truth about life, and how she taught people how to live theirs.
I hope I can see her again, I want to go next wednesday...she said she didn't know if she would be around or not. Her memory is amazing- I never saw anything like it, she was talking up a storm, even though she is beyond exhausted, she was so happy we were all there.
I was holding her hand, and it was surreal...it was like I was saying good-bye to my own grandma all over again.
Posted by ISIS (Member # 1780) on :
My Aunt died last night...we just got the phone call...I am going to the funeral on Wednesday. I have only ever been to 2 funerals ever...my grandma and my aunt, so I am very nervous about it. My son has never been to one. But, I feel I have to go...she was there for everyone else. My husband is taking the day off to go too. What a drag. I had a dream about her last night, I knew it was coming...it really does make you think about how every day should be lived like it were your last.
Posted by Rainbowbrite22 (Member # 2288) on :
i m so sorry to hear about your aunt isis but wow 90 is pretty good
Posted by 80'sRocked (Member # 6979) on :
So sorry....all my best to you and your family.
Posted by Riptide (Member # 457) on :
My condolences about your aunt. So sorry.
Posted by StevenHW (Member # 509) on :
Sorry to hear about your loss, and my condolences to the family.
Posted by jdocster (Member # 5752) on :
Isis,
Sorry to hear of your aunts passing. It sounds like she lived a full life.
- Condolences -
Posted by pettyfan (Member # 2260) on :
Im sorry to hear about your aunt. Be thankful that you had her as long as you did and remember all the good times.
Posted by major (Member # 7478) on :
My heart goes out to you and you family, Isis.
I wish you strength to endure and peace in the knowledge that all, indeed, will be ok.
Posted by ISIS (Member # 1780) on :
Thanks you guys.
I was going to take my son to buy a pair of dress pants...and I stopped to see my friend to tell her I couldn't go with her to this career day thing on Wednesday...and my son got sick and threw up ....everyone I know has been sick lately...so I hope he feels better soon...
But..while driving there...the song " I Don't Belive in Goodbye" by Sawyer Brown was playing on the radio....I haven't heard that song in a long time, I always liked it, and I thought about those words...and I can't get them out of my mind...and about how that's what you want to believe in....
I have been trying to find that song to listen to it, and I can't find it anywhere...can anyone help?? It wasn't on youtube ...I'd like to listen to it from the beginning.
Thanks in advance, if someone can find it.
Posted by Stitch Groover (Member # 2895) on :
Isis, I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your aunt. I've been to my fair share of funerals, I had to go to two in one week earlier this year when my uncle died, then one of my best friends passed away from cancer. My friends funeral was very sad because he had three young kids, but my uncles was a blast - our family tends to make funerals a celebration because it's usually the only time we all get to see each other. We have a huge wake and tell lots of stories - even during the funeral the pastor was telling stories of practical jokes my uncle used to play.
It's funny, back in 1989 I went to my grandfathers funeral, it was my first one, and as we were driving from the church to the cemetary, the song "Living Years" by Mike and the Mechanics was playing on the radio, and I thought how appropriate it was to the moment.
I have my funeral all planned, I actually hope to have a living wake, because I want to see everyone before I go. I want "All I wanna do" and "Everyday is a winding road" by Sheryl Crow to play during the ceremony, which will most definately NOT be in a church, and I know it will never happen but I want my body to be fired out into space!
Posted by TKO (Member # 1471) on :
Sorry to hear Isis. 90 years old is a nice age. But someone's passing is never easy to accept...
My sincere condolences.
Posted by MotleyRulz (Member # 3598) on :
Sorry about your aunt. She lived a long time. My grandfather died on a Friday and my grandmother died the following Monday back in 2000 so needless to say we pretty much lived at the funeral home for about 2 weeks. We were expecting my grandmother to pass as she had terminal cancer but grandfather had a heart attack in his sleep that we believe came from the stress of my grandmother's illness. Even if you know it's coming your never ready for it. I have family in California, Texas, Florida, and Arizona so it took awhile to get everyone there. Nonetheless my condolences......
Posted by Valley (Member # 1322) on :
Sad news indeed.
Posted by ISIS (Member # 1780) on :
I have been all freaked out all day about going to the funeral tomorrow...I don't want to go...I know that might sound awful to some people....my mom is really sick, she has been throwing up all day, and my son is sick...and I just don't want to make him go....and with them sick, I would hate to go by myself. I never have understood the ritual of funerals. I like what Stitch said about laughing and having fun, because you are thinking about the memories of them...and the fun times you had. I think it is morbid to go look at a person laying in a casket dead.
It freaks me out even more, that I have run in to many people recently who take pictures of people in their casket...I was talking about this tonight to someone...and I was remembering about my Aunt and my Grandma....and people were saying at the funeral...they looked really good. My grandma had been sick for years, and was about 80lbs when she died...and she looked awful, but that's what I was use to seeing her look like...when I saw her at the funeral...they had stuffed her cheeks with cotton- to make her face look fuller...and they had make up on her-which she never wore...so I wasn't sure who I was looking at, but it didn't feel like my Grandma...so I don't know how people find comfort in any of that. The only thing I can understand ...is people getting together to comfort each other...if the family and friends are close. Sometimes families are so disfunctional...that at funerals all kinds of past feuding can come out, and it can get nasty and mean, and people start blaming each other for stuff.
I don't like anything about them...I don't like seeing people afterwards fighting over the person's belongings...because that happens alot.
I just feel sick about all of it, because my Aunt use to go to everyone's funeral, and said it was the right thing to do, out of respect...so I don't know what to do.
Posted by 80'sRocked (Member # 6979) on :
I skip many funerals....most understand because they know how much I can't stand them.
Posted by ISIS (Member # 1780) on :
Well...I wasn't at my own Dad's. It was a really rough several years surrounding the time of his death between me and him, and I didn't want to walk in to a room full of people, where I wasn't sure of what was going to happen...and I hadn't seen him in several years...my brother later told me that it was good that I didn't go, and that I will remember him the way he was when we grew up, which was he was super strong and in great physical shape. The one thing that bothered me about not going...was my high school best friend was there...he came to see me, and was shocked to not see me...and I haven't seen him in 19 years. There were other friends of mine there too....that I was shocked that they showed up...so that bothered me. I live 2 hours away from where I grew up...and I remember the day of his funeral...I was sitting on my front porch , and it was raining really hard, and I sat there bawling my head off, not knowing what to do, and my husband said...don't go and not to put myself through all of it, so I didn't...but I do semi regret it. When I die...I want cremated...and then I don't care what they do to me.
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I have a couple of telescopes,and we have a lot of fun using them.At the moment this podcast is the best around.You can listen to or download every episode for free.I think he would like THIS